cosmicink: (Default)
man... these characters are driving me crazy. Since my NANO is the prequel to the novel I've been writing. I'm writing about Isabel's mother and father. Not that anyone knows who Isabel is, but anyway, Isabel is named after her mother's eldest sister, Isabel but I also want her named after her mother's best friend, Maggie, a young English girl from college. But as it stands Isabel's middle name is Sofia. I thought about changing Maggie's name to Sophie, which means, Wisdom. Maggie,short for Margaret means Pearl. And Margaret is the patron of expectant mothers. So, I'm in a quandary.

Also, one of my main character's sister's is named Rita, short for Margarita.

So, I'm nearly at 30k with my word count. The story is starting to take shape, however, I'm not writing it in order, so I'm not even sure where I am at with it. I only started working on this story because I thought it might help me figure out exactly what's going on in my other novel. The mother's story turned out to be interesting bit of history that I needed to tell so I could make sense of my big plot twist in Isabel and Andrew's story. They're twins and I'll talk all about them later, ad nauseam probably.

I know none of this makes sense to anyone who might be reading this right now. I'll come back and explain myself later. I'm tired and just needed to work out some of these frustrations. Stay tuned for more in the saga of the little universe playing out in my head. Maybe I will figure it out.

I was going to edit this post and I forgot why. I need sleep.
cosmicink: (Default)
16147 words.

Ok... I was on a roll. I skipped ahead to almost near the end of the story. It was the sad, hardest part to write. Well, maybe not quite the saddest, but it was hard. It makes me want to rethink my other novel, the sequel, which is really the one that spawned this story. Tomorrow I might ramble about them. Meanwhile, I'm off to bed.
cosmicink: (Default)
So... I have already changed the beginning. I like where I started it after the change though.There was too much exposition in the original. And now, I've now switched from third person omniscient to first person past tense. I just am not comfortable writing in 3rd person pov anymore. I don't know when that happened, I think it happened when I started writing from Lena, my first novel main character's pov. That story flowed natural coming out in first person, present tense. In that story, I wanted my reader to experience her story as she lived through it, moment by moment. I've been reading lots of differing opinions on tenses, povs and all that, but it has become my natural voice so I don't think I'm going to stray. Although, this story is going to be written in past tense. It pretty much is the prequel to the novel I've been writing lately.

I'm supposedly meeting a group of Nano people and I think I've found them, but I'm not sure I'm going to stick around, seeing as how I'm posting to my journal and thinking about all the other things I have to do.

I'm closing in on 8,000 words and I can already tell that 50,000 words is not enough to tell this story. Man...why do I have to write such long, complicated stories?
cosmicink: (Default)
Ok... after a shakey start, I've written 2608 words. Well, at least since I changed my opening scene, before that, I'd already written about 1500 words that have already been purged from the story. I'm not sure about my beginning just yet. I really want to get into the heart of this story because I already have that written in my head. But the key is to write and I can always edit later. Besides, 50,000 words is not really a novel. I don't know if I'll ahve a completed story after 50,000 words. I'd like to have a complete story by November 30, but who knows what I'll have.

Ok... it's bed time. I don't have jury duty in the morning, so I'm free till about noon. Tomorrow morning, perhaps I'll get some writing done or maybe sleep in a bit. Till then, it's bedtime.
cosmicink: (Default)
Oh, help me...

I've started my novel. I'm pretty sure I know my story. My characters may surprise me a bit, but I don't think the story will stray too far from my original idea because it's important to "stay the course" with this story. However, I'm writing in 3rd person omniscient POV and in the past tense. Man, that's hard. Everything I've written so far has been first person, present tense and that's natural to me. I hope I can stay in control, keep my POV's straight and on course. It's not so easy.

My goal is to write 2000 words a day. At least.
cosmicink: (Default)
I have a story outline, I have characters and I have a working title. I've been listening to Franz Ferdinand way too much, but my title did not come from a FF song. Actually, I pulled it out of the lyrics to a Goo Goo Dolls song. At some point, I might need a suggestion of a classic novel that may be mentioned early on in the story that a college literature class (maybe American or British) might be discussing that would incite some heated discussion. The story is set in the 60s and that's why I might be a little stumped for an idea. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

I honestly don't know how much I'll post about my novel, but I am going to try to keep updating this journal, just so I keep myself motivated. I'll probably log on and read this friends list a bit more... not that most of you on this flist aren't on my regular journal flist. (aka [ profile] miafeliz)

And I suppose I should tune in Sirius Radio into 60s music for November. Then after I'm done with my novel, I'll put on Christmas music.

Now... I sign off and go watch Jon!Baby on the daily show.
cosmicink: (Default)
So... I figured out what I'm going to do for Nano. It's not exactly part of the current novel I'm working on, but more like the prequel, the story of the parents of my main character. I will try to write it in 3rd person too. I have not written from that pov in a long time, so I'll give it a try. Who knows.

Eek. Two posts in one day.
cosmicink: (Default)
I've been meaning to use this journal more often. I've been writing and it is my writing journal. Anyway, one of the Katz' alias's got me to come out an play. So... here I am. Playing.
cosmicink: (Default)
Look, a post in this journal. I even have an extra 14 days of paid time. It will probably expire in 15. Heh.

But I made progress in zee novel. I finished part one. I was so happy when I realized it. I've been working on this book for years now and I honestly didn't think that I'd get to this point with the way I'd been neglecting my writing. Honestly, I don't know what I have, nor will I know till the whole book is done but I have most of part two written-- the stuff where the boyfriend comes back to meet his child-- and then I do know how it's going to end in part three. Those two parts may not be as long as the first-- but there are three different moments in the book-- thus the three parts.

I've been living with these characters for years and I feel like they are part of me. I supposed they are since I gave them birth. I think the day the novel is really finished it will be bittersweet because I'll have to put them away and let them go out into the world on their own. I don't know if this novel will get published. There are tons and tons of self-publishing opportunities and perhaps I could do that-- if no one wants my book. Then I guess I'll start with new characters. I wonder, can you truly ever forget those first characters. It's probably like love. Do you really ever forget your first love?

I think it would be pretty incredible to have my novel published. I've been reading a lot of "first" novels by new writers. I must say that they're pretty good-- not great works of literature-- but really, isn't that all subjective. The writers I hate, someone likes and holds in high esteem. I don't think I'm a bad writer and I know before my novel ever gets to the stage of going to an editor/publisher/someone with power, I'll have to edit it and have someone "beta" it for me. I'm just working on the first draft and once the bones are done, I'll squee about that. Meanwhile...Part One is done.

18-19 Chapters. I anticipate it might be about 30 chapters when finished and about 350 pages when finished. I hope.
cosmicink: (hands)
Uh. Is this thing still on? It's been months. I haven't much felt like writing in the journal. I guess becuase I'm not writing very much and even when I am, it's a solitary process for me. I don't really share what I write until it's done. The novel is still growing, evolving and changing. I'm making new discoveries with my characters and my story, but I'm still stuck in the middle. I know the begining. Boy do I know the beginning. I know the end, but I just don't know how I'm supposed to get there. I've got this middle chunk of stuff-- that I don't know what to do with or what it is. I might be straying away from my story. I'll get back to it.

I got wrapped up in the real life goings on with politics. I really feel sad about the way the election turned out. I can't believe how much I stressed about the election. I believed in John Kerry. I didn't support him in the begining but when he became the nominee and did my research, I did. I voted for him. I wish he'd won. Nonetheless, the stress and anxiousness leading up to the election kept my attention focused on everything but my writing. Now, that it's over-- though I'm still in the denial stage of grief-- some of the stress is gone. So here I am working on my writing.

I'm finally started NaNo attempt two. Last year, I got about 5k written. I had a story idea. I still would like to write it, but I didnt' really have the research done or really even a plot. And this attempt. I'm not sure what I'm writing about. I'm just starting and I think it's going to be a light, fluffy story. Nothing overly deep. Just a basic girl dumps boy story, quits her job and finds herself half-way around the world kinda thing. But I guess I'll have to figure out the whys of it all.

Anyway, that's my ramble for tonight.
cosmicink: (Default)
Last time I was 'round here was a month ago. I called up netscape (that's where I read this journal from, so I can stay logged in) to see if this journal was eligible for any free time,
cosmicink: (Default)
Writing sucks, y'all.

Just thought I'd share that. I'm having a hard time jumping through time. My novel starts out in Fall 1997 and ends up somewhere in 2005 or 2006. I have the whole story in my head but the section I'm working on is driving me nuts. Once upon a time I had a decent outline of the story, but events have changed and things I thought were important in my original concept of the story are gone, so I'm working from what's in my head. My head can be kind of a crowded place sometimes, ;-).

I'm really venting at this point. I think overwriting is better than not writing enough, right? I can always edit and cut out what doesn't work, but it's so frustrating to know what is working or not working at this point. Honestly, I think my real problem is that my writing has gone from something I love and want to pursue seriously to a hobby again. I can't really accomplish much when I don't take it seriously. I think I need to get offline and spend more of that time writing. I miss the days when I was writing fanfic and it was the only thing that absorbed my mind. It was a fun passion there for a while. I put all my original fic on hold because I was in a rut back then, so I played with other people's characters for a while. I made up a few of my own and it was great. I didn't treat that like a hobby and I actually completed stories. I definitely don't knock fanfic writing. It's a great medium. I wish I was doing it again, hell I wish I was writing something. Anything.

I might start posting chapters of my novel in here. I don't expect feedback or comments, but maybe it might help me to get writing again, if I think someone might be reading and actually interested in what I'm writing. (Yeah, I threaten to do this all the time. The Family has heard me say this before, but I think I just might do it.) Maybe I'll get that frenzied feeling of having to write something to post. Heh.

Baby steps, yo! That's my new mantra. Baby!Steps.

Off on a totally different tangent. I was reading random journals from people in Santa Fe. There are some really cool people out there. Not so much into the fandom realm, but cool people nonetheless. Reading other people's thoughts about living here, make me realize just how cool of a place it is here. I must really get out of my rut and experience life here more often. Emily Dickenson may have been able to enjoy her life from her room and write all about it, but I really should get out more. ;-)
cosmicink: (dream)
Just putting this here so I don't forget.

Writers Conference Announces Faculty )

I'm considering submitting an application for a scholarship, provided my writing doesn't suck too badly and I can find 10 decent enough pages to submit. The cost is $675 and I can't afford that. Come August, I'll have to pay my taxes. I, uh, filed an extension, so there won't be any extra money for fun stuff.

Also, if you've found yourself friended to this journal recently, it's probably because I know you in RL or from my other friends list on my
cosmicink: (Ohmygod)
Most everyone on both my flist's are at Connexions, that's probably why it seems so quiet. Eh, I don't really have the energy for reading and refreshing my friends page anyway. I'm not much in the fangirl spirit these days. I did save some fic that was posted in [ profile] crack_van to read later. That will be a nice escape. I'm in a pensive mood. Not a bad mood or a funk, just been doing lots and lots of thinking. Mostly about the big life changing things that have been on my to do list for 2004. I'm definitely not going to beat myself up about any of it. I need to remember to be nice to myself.

Then it's raining. I love the rain. I really do, but mostly NM summer rains, where the clouds roll in over the mountains, it thunders and the sky opens up with pouring rain. It smells so fresh and clean, then as quickly as the monsoon comes, it rolls out cooling the temperature, refreshing the desert. Then lather, rinse and repeat for the next day. The rain we've had has been steady, cold and needed. The mountains are again covered in snow. Most of it had melted, but it's cold up there in those hills. Anyway, I'm not going to bash this rain because it's needed. desperately. If this keeps up all week, like it's supposed to, I'll tire of the grey, cloudy skies and wish for the sun. I don't think I could survive living the Pacific Northwest, the British Isles or anywhere where it's rainy most of the time.

So... the writing? It's coming slowly. I am making a few changes to part two of zee novel. I'm no longer calling it the novel from hell. That attitude only reinforces negative energy and that's not what I need. As I said to Beth the other night on IM, I just want to finish it and have it be half-way good. That in and of itself would be an acommplishment. I could definitely settle on that. I'm also courting my inner muse to bring me a new story idea. I don't want to finish this book and have it be my only book. I fell asleep watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and dreamt that my characters were in an episode. Maybe I'll write QE fanfic, ;-) I'm sure there's a list on Yahoo!Groups for it already.

I'm still on a Post-RENT high. I really do love that musical. I took my mother to see it last week. I was a bit worried that she wouldn't like it. Loud music, subject matter but then I forget that my mother is much less conservative than I think she is. She's pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, totally for priest's marrying, so I worried about nothing. She liked the show and I'm glad I got to see it again. Though, it wasn't the Broadway cast, I still envisioned Joey playing Mark. (Ok, a tiny bit of a fangirl is eeking out.) Though, in the touring cast, the guy playing Roger looks so much like my cousin M. I can so see him playing Roger. The fact that my cousin is a musician helps. It was a good performance, not quite as polished at the Broadway cast, but I was able to pick up on so much I missed. There are a lot of things happening on stage that I missed the first time-- and that I didn't see on the bootleg tape C. sent me. And last time the touring company came to NM. Doogie Houser (Neil Patrick Harris) played Mark. That must have been cool for him getting to perform in his hometown.

<---- has too much useless trivia in her head.


I guess I'll go back to writing.
cosmicink: (Default)
Totally bored tonight. I did some writing--or revising I should say-- earlier today. I should probably put some of it in here, ;-)

Gacked this quiz from [ profile] inferna. Interesting results. )
cosmicink: (Ohmygod)
Good Lord, I think I've forgotten how to write. I'm writing this in here, because I'm not quite feeling fanish. I don't know what I'm feeling these days. I thought I was going to get hit hard with a pure Grade A Funk, but it seems to have passed. That's definitely a good thing. So anyway, as I was saying, my story changed course today. I thought I had a pretty good story going, but then I came up with a new idea. I like the idea of my protagonist being strong and in control of her life not to the point where she's an ultimate Mary Sue, but that she's not this passive, why does everything bad happen to me and my life is just misery and hell all the time, why do I go on, kind of character. As I read through some of the stuff I've written I feared that was what I was getting. So... I'm going off in a slightly new direction and it's hard... I thought I could reuse some dialog and scenes, but it's not going to work and I must start writing new scenes and dialog. Damn... why can't it all be easy? And why can't it all be done?

I was thinking about some of the things I want to accomplish this year and I feel like I'm already failing. I still want to hit the gym and get healthy, get some bills paid and some serious writing done and yet, I'm back to where I was when I decided to make these BIG LIFE CHANGES. In fact, I feel like I've gone back about three steps. Yikes. I fell off the wagon and I've been chastising myself for not getting back up. I have diet cokes in the house again. Not that it's a bad thing, but instead of reaching for water, tea or juice, I grab a DC and go on from there. Anyway, the dogs and I need to start walking again every day, but i tell you, since pyscho,stalker bitch, we don't feel comfortable walking in our own neighborhood. You'd think we'd be over it; that was over a month ago.
So that's that. /whine.

I'm still on a quest to read a book a week. I have a stack of books waiting for me-- I've pretty much opened and started them all.

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister
The Game of Kings
Good Omens
-- which I'm reading now and should finish by week's end.
Hilary Clinton's Biography
Al Franken's book about the nasty liars
Eric Alterman's book about the so called "liberal media". Right. Liberal Media my ass.

I finished a book about King David and his first wife, Michal, the daughter of King Saul, called Queenmaker. It was enjoyable. I love historical fiction. I guess this would be historicalslashbiblical fiction. The first line in the book says that ..."many say that David loved me because I resembled my brother Jonathan."

Yeah, well, you know where *we go with a line like that. Straight into the book looking for the slash and there was none.

* ok not all of us. [ profile] but, most of my friends do.

Randomly, I dl'ed the most recent semagic. It's a bit wonky, but it's kinda cool too.


Mar. 14th, 2004 12:50 pm
cosmicink: (hands)
Yes, I know I don't update this journal very much and I spam my fandom journal all the time. Anyway, I have a grammar question. It's not a big deal, but which is correct?

---> I have already passed the gas station....

or is it

---> I have already past the gas station...

I'm drawing a blank and I can't remember which is correct. Yes, I could look it up, but I'm on a writing roll, which will be interrupted by having to take a shower and then go to work. Damn Real Life.
cosmicink: (ink)
I'm getting myself back in the writing mode. I'm also planning to check in on this journal a bit more often. The point of a writing journal is to write in it and talk about writing, right? I'm also trying to read something-- a book, fanfic, a cereal box-- a week. I'm not going to try the 50 Books challenge. I've fogotten how much I love to lose myself in a book or a story. A while back, I got some advice that I shouldn't read while trying to write a novel. I think that's craptastic advice. I like so many different genres of fic, that I seriously doubt that reading Historical Fic or popslash is going to influence my plot or writing for my novel. Hee. Of course, in my head, one of my main characters is a popslasher who adores boybands, much to the dismay of his boyfriend. Heh. Some of you on this flist are evil. *g*

Eh, just kidding.

So, I'm back to reading. Maybe the stack of books I have to read will actually get read so I can buy more.

And my novel from hell is going to cease being called that because that only gives me a bad attitude about it. I like my characters, I like my story and so I'm revisiting the story from the beginning and tightening up a few things. In the meantime, I'm getting know to them and my world again. It's a nice re-introduction so far.
cosmicink: (hands)
Lately, it doesn't feel that way. I'm still writing, well more like drabbling. I've been stagnant for ages on my novel. I truly believe it's a good story idea. I think it's still timely and I think it could be a really good novel, once I finish it. I like my characters and I really enjoy the process of writing, but I've come to the conclusion that what I've got on "computer" --- heh... I rarely write out anything on paper anymore-- is going nowhere.

My plot is unraveling as fast as my knit blanket after the dog gets his dewclaws into it. I've been toying with the idea of starting over. I think I made too many leaps and jumps into the "future" setting of the book and I can't figure out a plausible way to weave all the parts together. I probably have too many characters and things happening. I've let one character, who was never suppose to be so important take control. The book isn't about him-- and yet, I've fallen for this character and want to make him sympathetic, when really, I don't think he should be. Then I think my main character is turning into a sniveling, whiny, Drama Queen. I don't know. I'm just totally lost right now. I don't think it's unsalvageable or hopeless, just a bit out of focus.

I guess I'm feeling like I'll never finish the book and I want to. I want to have written a novel one day. It may not ever be the great American novel. That's fine. It probably won't get published by some cool publishing company (I can self-publish it... no problem. It may cost me a fortune and I may never make dime). I'm really ok with that. I have other stories in my head. I've always had stories in my head. I remember sitting in my high school classes writing short stories. I still have them somewhere in a file box somewhere, it's a blue plastic one, letter size. I think it's in the guest room closet. I can even remember a few of the stories I wrote now. I'm sure the stories will keep coming; I just want to finish something. I have tons of complete fanfic stories-- some WIPs, and other ideas that I want to write in the near future, but I just can't get the words to come out or the characters to talk to me. It sucks, man.

So here I sit night after night, thinking about this story, wondering just how much of it makes any sense. The act of actually hitting the delete key and getting rid of so much prose is terrifying, but I really only like the first 5 chapters. I'm lost from there on out. Don't get me wrong, there are things I really like that I've written after the first few chapters. I think there are some great scenes and plotlines for the story-- but somewhere from the first sentence and the last sentence (yes, I have the ending semi-written) I have way too much going on and it's messing me up. Needless to say, I'm a bit frustrated. Betcha couldn't tell.

I'm not quite sure of why I posted this, but I couldn't sleep. My body is always ready for an 11:30 bedtime, but my head isn't. And it must be. I have to work in the morning. I'm working on a project for work with a few other agents in the office and then trekking down to Albuquerque with [ profile] summerfling to go see "Fame, the Musical". And in March I have tickets to see "RENT". Gotta get some sparkly squee in this journal every now and then.

ETA: Took out the whiny RL bit. I'll save that for another post. Somewhere else.
cosmicink: (hands)
I uploaded my file to the progress meter wrong and got very excited to see I've written 11k words. But in reality, this is what I've written.
NaNoWriMo Progress Meter

I can post it, if anyone wants to read. It will be friends locked.

I think by the end of the night I might be at 10k. It's something I'm going to strive for. Kinda like at the gym. I am aiming for 25 minutes next time I go spinning. I did 20 tonight, and about half a mile on the track. And tomorrow is the big day with the trainer.
Oy... I can't believe I'm actually doing this! Writing and Working Out.
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