cosmicink: (hands)
This shouldn't surprise me... but a light went off when I read this earlier tonight. "Death by crucifixion was, in every sense of the word, excruciating (Latin, excruciatus, or "out of the cross")."
cosmicink: (Default)
I thought I would be. My mom is reading my latest story, bit by bit. I hadn't given her any for quite some time. Last week, I gave her about 70 pages. Not new, as I've written near to the end. She started reading but set it aside. We were getting company for Easter, so I told her NOT to let anyone read it. No one! Of course, my aunt, who is an artist, nurse, writer etc... saw it and read it. She told me at breakfast yesterday that she liked my story. Of course, she came into it midway through but didn't realize that. She understood most of it, even out of context, that's good right?

I like all the stories I've written, why else would I labor on them if I didn't like them. I just worry that they won't be accessible to a wide audience. They're set in New Mexico or at least are tied to New Mexico. My characters are all Hispanic. They're all Catholic to some degree and I'm wondering if those things limit the audience I might reach. I talk about the culture, the history and the things that shaped my characters because those things have shaped me.

My biggest trouble with writing is that I write. I keep writing. My stories are character driven more than plot driven. I have a plot, that's true but I focus on my characters, their feelings and how they deal with their situations. None of them are easy. In one story, my main character faces a serious illness, a break up, the birth of a child and how she must deal with everything. In another, my main characters face an unexpected truth and the third explains the second.

My characters are all related. And they will probably always live in my head. Hopefully, I'll tell their stories, but I have so much fun writing them, whether or not they go in the story, they get published or even finished, it's my world, my creation and I love it. However, the time is coming that I need to share it. Oh... man... the anxiety of that. That's why I didn't want my mom to let anyone else see the story but am glad that my aunt innocently picked it up and read it.
cosmicink: (hands)
Sometimes... I think when they say write what you know... you should stick to it. I've been working on my story again. Basically, up until the part where they move to Europe, I'm good. I'm writing what I know. Now... I have them in Europe and need them to visit London, Rome and of course Prague where move to. I know one day I'll get there in real life and figure out exactly where they live, what they see, etc... but it's hard to capture the feel when I've only got reference books, the Internet's and Live Earth and Google Maps as my main source material. I know I can log onto touristy websites and forums for other help but it would help so much if I could just go to those places and experience it for myself so that my characters can as well.

The characters I've created I know intimately-- I know Andrew hates fresh tomatoes and Italian food, but ends up studying in Rome anyway. I know Isabel is afraid of marionettes and is given one by her father sometime after she moves to Prague. I know things about her family and their personalities. I know their life experiences, birthdays and hobbies. So-- I have no problem with my characters-- it's just the settings troubling me right now. I don't recall having so much trouble writing far-away places when I wrote fanfic. Oy. I also need to remind myself that this is draft one of the story and can fix details and fill in later, after I know exactly what's happening. I just wish I knew where the story was taking me now.

So, to figure that out, I bought me a new journal and I think I'm going use it to work things out with my story.

I still fear that Isabel's story has far too much Catholic guilt in it. Did I really have to set her on a spiritual journey? Why oh why did I make Andrew her twin brother and feel the need to give him such a huge part of the story? I still don't know if I can truly write about a young, somewhat idealistic yet orthodox Catholic priest. I don't want to say conservative because there is no way that Andrew could be what I'd consider conservative-- at least not completely. He might espouse a few conservative ideas and traits but he's not what I'd deem conservative. Of course, I base the characters of people I know or would like to know and of course have parts of me in them as well. In my real life, I have lots of Catholic friends and family, some practicing and some lapsed. I have some who are not at all religious, some Protestant and some Jewish. But I'm not at all religious or devout, but suddenly, it has become important to me. But I'm still perplexed, why did I have to use this point to write what I know? I'm not writing a story for a Catholic audience and I'm trying to keep it broad but it keeps coming out of me.

Maybe I should go back and work on Lena's story. She's a good, very lapsed and non-practicing, maybe even non-believing Catholic. It's amazing where I was spiritually when I started that story as to where I am now. Besides, I better finish Lena's story before there's a cure for AIDS. Man, it's been a long time since I started it. It's changed so much. At least I am not longing writing about the future-- a few years ago I had no idea what would happen in 2005 when I had to take the story into the future. It's set in early '98 and probably ends somewhere around '06, but as I started writing it a few years ago, '06 seemed like a long ways away, now it's two years already gone by.

I really wish I could finish one of my stories.
cosmicink: (Default)
Sad to say... I think I've done some of these things.

Still haven't written more than 300 words yet.
cosmicink: (hands)
and the first day of NANO.

I haven't written a thing yet. No story. No idea. No nothing. Nada. Now I want to nap. Someone throw me a bone, give me an opening line... help.
cosmicink: (Default)
and I have nothing to write about. I have a whole family tree of characters but nothing to write for NANO and that starts in just over a week. I'll natter on about that later.

Meanwhile, Izzy and Andy are driving me crazy so, I'm back to Lena's story. So... my main characters are both strong 30 something women, and while they have some of have some of the elements and traits of women in those "chick lit" novels, they're not. I don't think these stories can be considered chick lit. Anyway, long before Andrew came into existence in fiction, he existed in Lena's universe. She talked about her cousin the priest somewhere in the story. I haven't found that part yet, but I know it's in there somewhere.

Lena has definitely fallen away from the church. She sees nothing good about it, even though her favorite cousin is a priest (or will be one as this story is set much eariler). Her younger brother is gay, her eldest is divorced, she lives with her boyfriend, she makes a mistake and lands up pregnant and alone-- with a whole lot of other shit happening and the church is the last place she'd ever turn, but even so, she talks to God a lot. (I just discovered this as I'm rereading Lena's story tonight.) I don't even know if she'll come to a place where she reconciles her feelings about Catholicism, God and the church.

Isabel, she just likes being scandalous and just avoids church because she thinks it is what is taking her brother away from her. They've always been so close and suddenly, he's doing something that she cannot be part of. Last she checked, women can't be priests and she certainly wouldn't want to be a nun or a sister. ;-) Unlike her cousin, Lena, Isabel doesn't really lose her faith, she just doesn't have a need or time for it. The hardest part about writing about some of Isabel's disdain for the church is that when the story starts, the sex abuse scandals hadn't broke, so she can't voice any fear or anxiety about her brother's chosen vocation to him. It will come up later--- I envision her watching ABC news or CNN when the news breaks-- but not in the beginning. It will be a non-issue but it will just give her another reason to watch out for and protect Andrew more.

I find all of this really interesting considering where I am in my own real life regarding religion. That is another post for another day.

'ello

Oct. 3rd, 2007 07:28 pm
cosmicink: (hands)
Ah... I haven't been posting... the writing is going slowly. But, here's a page of writing quotes I found interesting.

Oh, I signed up for Nano 07. Here's my page there.
cosmicink: (Default)
Nailed it on the head. Article from today's Alb. Journal.

Full Text Behind Here )

Interesting quote posted on one of my writing lists.

Quotation from a Writer's Digest interview with multi-published dark-novel writer Chuck Palahniuk:

"I know so many writers who are a hundred times better than me and have longer, greater ideas than mine, but they gave up; they stopped. The biggest talent you can have is determination. Do you use the writing process as your ongoing excuse to keep exploring the world, meeting people and learning things? If you can do that, then the writing itself will be its own payoff and reward."

Gotta think about that for a while.

Angst

Jul. 29th, 2007 07:47 pm
cosmicink: (Default)
I write angst. I can't help it. I know all my stories, my fanfic and my original fic are full of angsty plots and real-life dramas. Maybe a bit melodramatic, maybe not. I write real life with elements of comedy. I'm not bitching or complaining... it's just what I do. I can't write horror, mystery or scifi or fantasy.

Someday, I'd love to write a historical drama (it will have angst since part of it will be set during the Spanish Inquisition, but that's a bit challenge yet to come.)

Anyway, it seems like the Goo Goo Dolls are my writing soundtrack for my two latest stories. Isabel is packing up her house to move to Europe and is listening to this song on repeat:
Acoustic #3 )

She tells her brother that it reminds her of their mother. He tells her that he wishes she wasn't so damn angsty at times. I'm reworking the relationship between Isabel and her dad, David. At first, I had them have a huge blow out and stop speaking, but it's not necessarily what I want to do. I just don't know how I'll work it out. I suppose I'll get there and figure it out.
cosmicink: (Default)
This story is getting way too deep and way too Catholic for my own good. Lord help me. If I start wanting to attend Latin Mass, it's time for an intervention.
cosmicink: (Twins)
I came across this article about male/female twins that piqued my interest. I'm writing a story with a set of male/female twins. I wonder if explains my characters any? Probably not because in my universe my female twin gets married and has a couple of kids.

I wonder if I had a male twin that I don't know about, ;-).
Still not married. Still no kids.
cosmicink: (Default)
For my two main journals my results were quite different. Weird, huh?
So, cosmicink, your LiveJournal reveals...



You are... 3% unique
(blame, for example, your interest in characters talking to me)
and 30% herdlike
(partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy writing).
When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please.

Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is intellectual.

Your overall weirdness is: 20

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 42% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!














cosmicink: (Ohmygod)
Sometimes I rely on the various baby name websites out there on the Internets, other times I really like Behind the Name because it has first names and last names in many languages and their meanings, plus names by usuage such as mythological names, pop culture, biblical names and so on and so forth. I've found it useful when looking up names for characters of certain ethnic backgrounds.

Tonight someone on my flist from my other journal posted a link to nymbler.com which is a baby name assistance sort of site. It's really cool. I just spent the last little while poking around there.
Funny how my real first name brought up "other similar type names" which were variations of my second name and middle/confirmation name.

So if there is a name you like, but aren't certain you want to use it, it will generate suggestions that you might like instead. I think that's cool, because sometimes, I can't get the name of the character I've created quite right. My main characters usually come into my head with first, middle and last names already figured out, but sometimes the minor characters are hard to name and I may only need to use a name in passing or handful of times and those are hard to name.


There was a site that I found a while back that was hysterical in poking fun at bad baby names. Ah, never fear, here it is. It doesn't seem to be terribly up-to-date and can be a bit sarcastic, but lord is it funny.

I'll see what other sites I can add to this post later.
cosmicink: (hands)
Today on one of my writing lists this came through. It's intriguing, but I probably won't submit anything, but I thought I'd pass the link along just in case anyone is and wants to participate.

ETA: Forgot the Link. LJ is a pain today.
Project Publish.
cosmicink: (Default)
So, apparently script frenzy is starting soon. I'm not sure that I'm going to attempt it, since my attention is focused on writing a novel more than a script. It might be fun to try, but I don't have an idea in my head at the moment. We shall see. Anyway, I saw this on one of the NANO forums regarding script formatting software and thought it might be helpful.


In case other people came here I just wanted to point out opensource script software called Celtx. Script writing software isn'tnecessary, of course, but I've found it helps me to have some of theformatting done for me. The "standard" commercial software isexpensive, too much so for me while I'm just playing around with theidea of script writing.

http://www.celtx.com/






###
cosmicink: (Ohmygod)
are good things and a writer must really follow them, otherwise chaos ensues. Ahem... I just screwed up my whole time line by writing a scene that is supposed to take place before one of the most important events in the story occurs, but according to the setting, it has to come after. Why can't American football be a spring sport??? It would all work so much better. Anyway, the scene that needs to come after happens in May and for my whole bloody storyline to work, I have to keep certain events as they are, written in stone Word otherwise, I'll have a to change dates, events accordingly.

It can still work, but my main character will have to go back to being a blonde earlier, so she can still meet the guy again. He remembers that she had red hair the first time they met and now she's gone back to her natural dark blonde color. (I really am not writing a chick lit novel as much as it sounds as if I am. There is angst and drama in here. I will torture these people one day.) Then later, even though she's met the guy, she can still go to a football game with her family. I'll need to move a few things around but I'm glad I caught it. Hmmm. In fact... it might just work in the context of how I ended the football scene.

I should get to bed, but I'm waiting for a pair of pants to wash.
/inarticulate ramble
cosmicink: (Default)
Not so much block, but fear. I was talking to my mom today. A long time ago I let her read some of my first novel. My mother is a voracious reader and I was telling her a bit about my new story today on the home from getting take-out and I have this huge story concept and how all my characters are related to each other. I know everything about them, where they come from, how they're all related and who they are, whether or not they are in my stories. Some elements I've taken from my own life of course, as writers I think we all include bits of ourselves into our characters. There are parts of my personality in all my characters, most especially my two main female characters. I don't see either of them, Lena or Isabel as Mary Sues-- but yet-- in some way maybe they have an idealized or less idealized sense of myself. Neither of them are only children and they have done some things I wish I'd done, probably the old, if I went back to high school, I would have done things differently kind of thing, but they aren't really me. But they're my creations and for all their faults I love them and I do want to share their stories... and yet here I am, worried about showing them to my mother. I think she has an interesting enough life that I could probably write a story about it. There is a sadness about my mother, all that childhood angst and drama that makes good story telling, but there's no way I am capable or ready to write the really deep, personal stories that are in my head. That's why none of my characters have ever been an only child. My characters don't come from perfect families but the families I've given them are far more functioning than my own or my mother's. I really would love to write my aunts into a story, but I'm afraid it might not go over well, so I try to keep out personal relationships. ;-)

Oh.... also, I think the Santa Fe Real Estate community, my peers, would be great fodder for fiction. I *know* Annette Benning's character from "American Beauty" but that's an aside.

I wrote fanfic for years, I posted all my Highlander stories, I kept my WIPs up on the Internets for a while and had no problem with thousands of people reading those stories, which, while using canon characters were original stories, written by me, with plots I created from the depths of my mind, but why am I having a hard time sharing with my mom. If anyone who would understand my settings, my characters and my plots, it would be she?

[livejournal.com profile] trixiesficused to be my sounding board and I'm not signaling her out for any reason but I miss talking writing with her. I talk about my new story with [livejournal.com profile] schaden_freude and she's ever so patient and sweet to put up with me and the world of fanfic was a great place to be because I had beta readers and friends who'd let me talk fic with them for hours. I guess I'm feeling isolated back in my world of original fic and need a gentle reminder that writing can be a very quiet, very lonely place sometimes.

So, I'm wondering if any of you feel this way sometimes writing fiction of any kind, (fanfic or original). I'm not looking for cheerleaders or volunteers to read my stuff, I'm just speaking outloud and wondering if I'm really alone in these observations.

Research...

Jan. 7th, 2007 05:18 pm
cosmicink: (Default)
If you see this post twice, I apologize, but my goal this year is to keep up with my writing and perhaps update this journal from time to time with my writing ramblings.

This web site is dripping hotness. I'm looking for visuals for my characters. I'm having a hard time with a couple of them, especially my main to characters because I threw a big complication in the plot and so I'm having to find a visual that best fits my main characters, adult boy/girl twins. Anyway, I have an idea of who "Isabel" is, but 'm having a hard time finding her brother Andrew. So, I found a Spanish Models website. I think using models rather than celebrities is easier, because say I use Petey, then the character is more Petey than my character. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't know if any other writers use models/actors/other people they know as visuals for their characters, but I find it a bit more helpful than just some blue, eyed, blond guy, that I can't visualize.

But there is a hitch to the guy I think might be Andrew, he's incredibly hot and Andrew, to my surprise as the writer and to his sister's,the main character, is a Catholic Priest. I'm not trying to to intentionally create a "hot priest". I'm actually trying to create a very realistic and human character with Andrew, but trouble is, my character is young-- mid-to-late 30's and probably is attractive on top of the other traits that make him a good priest and a good person. All the while, my MC isn't religious and is still not happy about her twin's choice of profession. She's a lawyer. Sigh.

Well, besides that, I need to find a couple other characters. Andrew's high school best friend is someone I know. And Miz [livejournal.com profile] schaden_freude approves, but for other reasons. I still wonder if it means anything that I thought about him and then saw HIM three months later, live and in person. Am I channeling my prince charming into coming to life in real life. Nah. It's just a coincidence. ;-)

I don't know why I'm so rambly and incoherent. Maybe staying up till 3 isn't always a good idea.

Day 19

Nov. 19th, 2006 07:50 pm
cosmicink: (Default)
Well, the writing is going all right. I'm under 5k to go. I can't believe I've written this much in so short a time. Of course, it's not pretty. I don't know if there is a plot or if there is anything worth reading when all is said and done, but I'm pretty damn impressed that I took a back story from a pretty much half-written novel and went running with it. As I've been writing this, I've been working on bits and pieces of my other story (all in my head) but I think I'm getting a idea of where the story will eventually end up.


Word count so far into this thing: 45293. Wow... 4707 words to go. This story won't be complete in 50k. I'm thinking if I can wrap it up in 75,000, I'll be doing well. There isn't much left to write. I have three scenes maybe four scenes to write and then the story will be done. I suppose the rewriting, revising and editing can start after that. There is a lot of details I've skipped over as I"m writing, (mostly historical type stuff that I'll fill in later. I know I'll have to work on dialogue just to make it sound like a 20 year old from the 60s, rather than the 80s, which was my era. So once I hit 50k, my next objective is to finish the story!

Hmmm... how are you doing Cathy? Don't give up. I like what you sent me so far. I want to read more.

ETA: I have 641 words left to write! I know this story will be longer than 50,000 but maybe not by much.

Day 13.

Nov. 13th, 2006 02:35 am
cosmicink: (Default)
About the fourth or fifth long night.
40033 words to date.

I still don't feel like they're pretty but as long as I get to 50,000! As soon as I get there, then I'll start to edit and revise. Till then it's plain ugly.
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